Do you remember how you enjoyed the simple things in your early childhood? A hut of blankets, fresh strawberries from a bush, a tree house, or even a porridge of sand and water or a goodbye hug from a friend – all this inspired most of us, creating a feeling of cloudless life. Is it possible to get it back as an adult? And for what? We deal with a psychologist.
With each passing year, memories from childhood are more and more stained with sadness. Life circumstances are a serious burden, there is an experience that is commonly called “adult”, which makes the overall picture of the world no longer so bright and attractive. And the inner child begins to yearn – and so much so that over time it seems that he has completely disappeared.
But the reality is that the “childish” natural-emotional part of our life does not disappear anywhere with time: it can get tired of reminding of itself, it can fade away, but remain alive. At different stages of growing up, depending on how much we take into account the value of this very part, it can seem to freeze, it can be distorted, finding no way out, and as a result either “get stuck” somewhere in the depths of the mind, or break out like lava from volcano, sweeping away everything in its path.
It is she who falls in love with the romantic appearance of an ordinary passer-by and stops to listen to beautiful music in the passage. She wants to ride the carousel with laughter or suddenly, for no reason at all, buy a funny souvenir. It is she who burrows her nose into a bush and inhales the aroma of her favorite flowers in the spring. Only in response, she almost always triggers the internal reaction of the “parent”: “There is nothing to behave so stupidly. You are an adult, stand still, otherwise they will laugh.
CHILDREN VS ADULTS PART
So, what does the concept of “inner child” include? You can look at it as a set of the most natural skills inherent in an uninjured little person.
1. Curiosity
Observe, study, touch.
2. Desire to live
Fall in love, make mistakes, fall, have the impulse to get up and move forward again.
3. Trust in others
The external environment is perceived as mostly not dangerous, but fascinating. Negative external influences are perceived as an exception and are quickly forgotten.
4. Natural
The absence of an inner desire to break oneself and show something that does not correspond to one’s real worldview.
5. Open to the future
Even if something bad happens, there is a conviction inside that it will be good further.
6. Healthy self-esteem
Perception of oneself unclouded by external assessment: in particular, weaknesses are perceived as a reason to learn and rejoice in their success in this study.
What is the “adult part”? A truly adult is not someone who is afraid of external evaluation, or a person who understands exactly how life works. An adult is open to criticism and always ready to accept feedback. This happens because he has been given to understand: all life is learning, and learning is not a routine and a duty, but a lifelong interesting process.
And what will help to accept his life and interestingness? Of course, children’s emotional skills: there is no “dangerous tomorrow” and anxiety about the future, but there is a “beautiful now”, a thirst for knowledge, openness to new things, unconditional love for oneself and life.
Looking back and looking into the eyes of our little one, sincerely wanting to understand, feel, accept his feelings, we will not only take on pain and resentment over the years of avoiding him, but we will also be able to gain the strength that is given to us from birth, the powerful energy of life and the brightest palette of emotions. He will forgive us any offense: after all, he always loves and always believes.
This is how seemingly weak points suddenly become strong and even critical. Let’s take care of our childhood experiences: they will flourish, giving us many more years of a truly high-quality life, and our, no longer internal, children will be helped to keep all the most valuable things with which they came into this world, intact and beautiful.