Do you remember the joy of simple things in your early childhood? A tent made of blankets, fresh strawberries from a bush, a tree house, or even a porridge made of sand and water, or a goodbye hug from a friend – all these things inspired most of us, creating a sense of serenity in our lives. Is it possible to regain it as an adult? And for what? Let’s find out with a psychologist.
With each passing year, the memories of childhood become more and more tinged with sadness. Life circumstances become a serious burden, the experience that is commonly called “adult” appears, making the overall picture of the world no longer so bright and attractive. And the inner child begins to yearn – and so much so that in time it seems to disappear altogether.
But the reality is that the “childish” natural-emotional part of our life does not disappear over time: it may get tired of reminding of itself, it may fade, but it remains alive. At different stages of growing up, depending on how much we take into account the value of this very part, it can seem to freeze, it can be distorted, finding no way out, and in the end it can get “stuck” somewhere in the depths of the mind, or burst out like lava from a volcano, sweeping away everything in its path.
It is she who falls in love with the romantic appearance of an ordinary passer-by and stops to listen to beautiful music in the crosswalk. She is the one who wants to ride a merry-go-round with laughter or buy a funny souvenir out of the blue. It is she who buries her nose in a bush and inhales the fragrance of her favourite spring flowers. Only in response, she is almost always triggered by the internal reaction of the “parent”: “There’s nothing to act so stupid. You’re a grown-up, stand still, or they’ll laugh at you.”
CHILD VS ADULT PART
So, what does the concept of “inner child” encompass? We can look at it as a set of the most natural skills inherent in a non-traumatised little person.
Observing, exploring, touching.
2. Desire to live
To fall in love, to make mistakes, to fall, to have the momentum to get up and move forward again.
3. Trust in the environment
The external environment is perceived as mostly exciting rather than dangerous. Negative external influences are perceived as the exception and quickly forgotten.
Lack of inner desire to break oneself and show something that does not correspond to one’s real worldview.
5. Openness to the future
Even if something bad happens, there is still a conviction inside that the future will be good.
6. Healthy self-esteem
A perception of oneself unclouded by external evaluation: in particular, weaknesses are seen as a reason to learn and to rejoice in one’s success in that learning.
What is the “adult part”? A truly adult is not someone who is afraid of external evaluation, or someone who has figured out exactly how life works. An adult is open to criticism and is always willing to accept feedback. This happens because he or she has been given to understand that all of life is learning, and learning is not a chore or a chore, but a lifelong and interesting process.
And what will help to accept its lifelong and interesting? Of course, children’s emotional skills: there is no “dangerous tomorrow” and anxiety about the future, but there is “beautiful now”, thirst for knowledge, openness to new things, unconditional love for oneself and life.
By looking back and looking into the eyes of our little self, sincerely wanting to understand, feel, accept his feelings, we will not only take on the pain and resentment for the years of avoiding him, but we will also be able to find the strength that is given to us from birth, the powerful energy of life and the brightest palette of emotions. He will forgive us any offence: for he always loves and always believes.
This is how seemingly weak sides suddenly become strong and even critical. Let us cherish our childhood experiences: they will blossom, giving us many more years of truly quality life, and our children, who are no longer internal, will help us to keep all the most valuable things they came into this world with intact and beautiful.