The way we feel about ourselves affects how we feel about ourselves. Self-deprecation, excessive self-criticism can lead to depression, nervous disorders and even physical illness. Check: are you doing for yourself what you would do for your best friend?
We all deserve to be treated with understanding and respect. This is what we expect from others. But we should start with ourselves! Strange as it may seem, quite often we treat (and talk to) ourselves the way we would never treat our relatives, friends or even acquaintances: ruthlessly and critically.
Many people find it easier to admit their mistakes than their merits. And this is not safe: low self-esteem creates preconditions for depression and anxiety disorders. Isn’t it time to change your attitude towards yourself for the better?
1. TAKE REALITY INTO ACCOUNT
We can’t change what we don’t notice. Self-observation is a necessary prerequisite for action. If we want to end the devaluing of ourselves, we must understand how we do it.
It is easy to take as an objective assessment the opinion of that inner voice that belittles our merits and points out our shortcomings
However, that voice is just an expression of low self-esteem. And it has to do with anything but reality. By learning to recognise and correctly evaluate these statements, you will be able to change your attitude towards yourself.
2. TALK ABOUT YOURSELF WITH RESPECT
Constantly downplaying your talents and merits, speaking disparagingly about yourself, avoiding any attention, cultivating modesty… This is a great way to maintain low self-esteem.
Words matter, they profoundly affect our perception and the impression we make on others
4. FORGIVE YOURSELF
Everything that is written about forgiveness usually applies to others first. But it is just as important to learn to forgive ourselves. By doing this, we restore our value in our own eyes and feel more at peace under the gaze of others.
Think back to an event that causes you regret. Bring it to life in your memory along with the context, including the place, time, surroundings and your own feelings and state of mind at the time.
Separate what can be attributed to circumstances and others involved from what was really up to you
Draw the necessary conclusions for the future, and then forgive yourself wholeheartedly – as sincerely as you would forgive someone you care about. You did what you could at the time, and there is no need to carry the weight of the past.
5. HELP OTHERS
Feeling needed is extremely helpful in boosting your self-esteem. Taking temporary responsibility for the well-being of those who are in a difficult situation, volunteering or sharing your experience, passing on knowledge …
Recognising that our active sympathy, altruism, words and presence are comforting to others has a positive effect on self-esteem.
Especially if we do not minimise the value of our actions and do not act from a “loyal servant” position. Offer help, time and advice as a peer, simply and with dignity.
A huge amount of research has confirmed the link between self-esteem and exercise. Running, fast walking, swimming, equestrian, skating, dancing, boxing… These all get us back into our bodies and help us feel agile and strong.
Self-esteem is boosted and we feel capable of respecting our territory
Not to mention, exercise regulates our emotional state and improves our sleep quality. And then we feel better “in our own skin” and become more confident.
7. APPRECIATE YOUR CORE
There are facts, results (mistakes and successes), circumstances, life events – and there is something that is much deeper. There is the surface – and there is depth. There is the Self (temporary, incomplete, influenced by circumstances), and there is the Self: according to Carl Gustav Jung, it is the sum of all our private manifestations.
The Self is the dense, concentrated part of our being, the heart of humanity
This is its value, so it must be cared for and respected. To despise, neglect and devalue one’s self would be to mistreat one’s human nature. Start listening to your needs, take interest in your desires, respect them, and then they will be respected by others.