Whether you meet on Tinder, at a concert or in a bar, if you want to take things to the next level, there are some simple rules to follow. A sex psychologist explains which behaviours are sure to charm your date.
There is nothing worse than thinking in terms of templates and stereotypes when getting to know someone, fitting your own and theirs behaviour to certain standards. Every relationship story, whether friendly or romantic, is unique and you will live it in your own way.
At the same time, experts advise to keep in mind a few simple rules that will help make the first contact with the man you like. A psychologist-sexologist Anastasia Panova suggests three best practices for a first date.
You can work as much as you want on your image and image, rehearse flirty looks and smiles or impose a mystery – but if it’s not initially “your” and not going to you, it is unlikely your partner will be delighted. Rather, he’ll think you’ve pulled on some kind of mask and are behaving unnaturally.
It’s best to be yourself on a date and not make up tall tales about your life.
If you have chronic “rescuer syndrome” and a man seems completely messed up on a first date – try to hold back and not give him a helping hand he hasn’t asked for yet.
Even if he just got fired or dumped by his ex – don’t give him advice or recommendations – be on an equal footing with him and then you won’t embarrass him.
Show curiosity about what he’s into. If your first date is at the theatre, talk about the play and acting, if it’s at a museum, talk about what he likes about contemporary art. Make sure to check out his social media profile to see what he’s into and what’s important to him.
Don’t forget to answer counter-questions honestly – otherwise it’ll feel like an interrogation.
Psychologist advises girls to take the initiative, but unobtrusively and gently: “A man is dominant by nature. Showing initiative is possible, but gently, without pressure. You create the current for a possible voyage, but leave it to the man to decide how to sail, at what speed and on what.