We talk most about children’s emotions – what they feel, what they see, and how they understand certain issues. The feelings of the youngest are very important, as they influence what kind of adults they will become…but it’s not the only thing we need to keep in mind when trying to raise the new generation as best as we can. Your emotions – the emotions of parents who think every day about the path to raising their children – are also very important, but often they forget about themselves and their mental state.
Everyone gets nervous sometimes
Children and parents – each of us is sometimes tired and irritable, we all need time for ourselves, and anger sometimes grows in each of us. It’s no wonder that we get angry when a child refuses to eat carefully prepared breakfast, or that we can’t resist irritation when we see toys scattered everywhere after a day of cleaning.”
It’s not that parenting doesn’t make you happy, or that you can’t feel fantastic. It’s that we’re afraid of the magic phrase “my child makes me angry.” We want to be understanding parents, patient parents, those whose peace can’t be destroyed by their child’s mischief or malice. Sometimes, you just want to sit down, have a coffee and say out loud, “my child makes me angry or upset.” After all, as an adult, you know you love your child, but their behavior can still annoy you, and you have emotions that you have the right to express.
Unpleasant thoughts arise when something is missing
It’s not about regularly reacting with anger to specific behavior from our children. Sometimes, we’re more understanding, and other times, we’re less so. That might be evidence that we don’t get angry with our baby all the time. Unpleasant thoughts arise when we have unfulfilled needs. It could be something ordinary and routine, like the need for rest or food, a lack of fun, or something that has been troubling us for a long time, like a dream we want to fulfill but don’t have time for. Anger becomes a signal that something is missing, but we don’t always understand what is hiding behind that signal.
Anger can also arise from fear that our child will never learn something or from the belief that we will never achieve our goals or take care of our own joys. It doesn’t always have to be beliefs that exist in our minds. There are many people around us who comment on and judge our actions, make predictions on various topics, and some of them, we start to believe.
The idea is to admit that certain feelings exist within us and try to do something about them instead of waiting for others to stop upsetting us.