How would your answer to the question “who are you?” sound like? Each of us has gone through a period of adolescence and young adulthood, during which we struggled to find and discover ourselves, our true selves. These questions that delve into the depths of our inner being arise again and again. They are an integral part of everyday life. In order to accept ourselves, we must determine who we truly are. It is important to perceive our own person, thanks to which we are able to determine direction and properly navigate our life decisions. Without this, we often feel lost.
Why does it happen that we lose our own identity?
-We minimize WHO WE ARE and WHAT WE NEED. Recently, I read a quote from an unknown author that said: “Give, but don’t allow yourself to be used. Trust, but don’t be naive. Listen, but don’t lose your own voice.” If we prioritize the needs of others at the expense of our own, we may begin to neglect ourselves and forget what is important to US.
-We lose touch with our thoughts and feelings. New technologies, alcohol, food – all of these occupy our attention to the extent that we are unable to ask ourselves how we really feel or what we are experiencing. We are overwhelmed by the amount of information that comes at us from all sides, and so sometimes we forget about ourselves.
-We cope with changes in our roles. A breakup, job loss, retirement, or any other new or traumatic experience usually contributes to questioning our own identity.
-Feelings of shame and inadequacy lead to losing pieces of ourselves. Criticism from others, teasing, comments that we are bad, stupid, strange, or ugly… These insensitive remarks from others contribute to self-doubt. Maybe you dreamed of being a famous chess player, but among friends it was presented to you as not “cool” enough, so you stopped and started doing something else that you didn’t like as much, but was acknowledged by the collective and society. We pretend to be a certain form that is generally accepted. But it’s not us. We wear a mask under which we hide our true selves. After years of functioning like this, we can lose sight of who we really are.
However, if we want to rediscover ourselves, keep our own face, I offer a few questions to ponder, whose answers can help us better understand ourselves.
What are my strengths?
Who is the most important person to me and provides me with the greatest support?
What are my long-term and short-term goals? What are my dreams?
What am I ashamed of? What worries me?
What new activities am I willing to try?
What do I believe in? What are my values?
If I could make one wish, it would be…
Where do I feel safest?
Where or with whom do I feel content?
What is my biggest life success or failure?
Am I a night owl or an early bird? What do I do to adapt my lifestyle to this part of my personality?
What do I like about my job, and what do I not like about it?
What is my happiest memory?
I feel stressed when…
What is my favorite book, movie, band, food, color, animal?
What am I most grateful for in my life?
I suggest that we answer one or two of these questions every day. If we explore them deeply and answer them honestly, we can gradually build the whole, called the SELF. Rediscovering oneself is a process full of thinking, talking, and especially action. So, let’s get to it 😉