How can we achieve everything we dream of? The psychologist shares techniques that will help you go this way without turning anywhere and getting straight to your destination.
1. ACCEPT THE FEELINGS AND DECIDE HOW TO ACT
We often let our feelings dictate our actions. This is especially disturbing when it comes to unpleasant experiences that arise again and again. In this way, we further reinforce our (usually subconscious) beliefs, which cause unpleasant emotions.
By avoiding what causes anxiety or fear, we further fuel our own beliefs, which are the true cause of negative feelings.
However, if we simply recognize and accept the unpleasant emotions that arise, allow them to be, remembering that they cannot harm us, do not what they force us to do, but the exact opposite, then we will begin to shake the basis of subconscious beliefs.
This technique will allow you to gradually get rid of any unproductive patterns of thinking and behavior that interfere with life.
2. FORGET THE EXCUSES
We often use the format excuses: “I’ll do it when …” in order not to start something scary or difficult. “I will be ready for public speaking when I become more confident”, “I will start losing weight after the New Year” …
Sometimes such conditions do make sense, but in most cases they only serve as an excuse to postpone action. If you catch yourself using these excuses, try to stop using them.
If this causes fear or discomfort, remember the first point: accept the emotions and consciously choose how you act.
3. MAKE COMMITMENT
When we have a difficult task ahead of us, the success of which depends entirely on our efforts (for example, losing weight or quitting smoking), it is important to make a firm promise to ourselves to fulfill it.
A firm promise is more than an intention. We have many good intentions, and we constantly retreat from them, showing momentary weakness. In this case, we are talking about a firm, unbreakable promise to oneself. To help overcome internal resistance that prevents decisive action, first limit the promise to a certain period of time (it can be extended as necessary).
To add to your resolve, tell others what a vow you made to yourself – they will be able to support you. Start right now!
4. THINK WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR OTHERS
Most of the goals that we set for ourselves concern only ourselves, so their success depends heavily on our self-confidence and belief in our capabilities. If you can’t achieve your goal because of disbelief in your own strength, try changing its setting so that the result is useful not only for you, but also for others.
Our shortcomings and limitations don’t seem so terrible when it comes to the benefits we can bring to others.
Similar advice can be given to those who are afraid of public speaking: focus on what the audience will benefit from speaking, and not on what these people might think of you.
5. ACT LIKE YOU HAVE ALREADY SUCCESS
Think of someone you admire who has already achieved a goal similar to yours. Ask yourself: what would he be doing right now if he was in a similar situation? Try to do the same.
Another useful question: what would you do in this situation yourself if you were more positive, optimistic and self-confident? Do so (if you’re scared, go back to point one: accept your feelings).
6. ACT DECISIONLY
Stuck on the way to your goal? Try to do something out of the ordinary, something unusual, not typical of you. You may already be doing this if you follow the previous point and act like you have already achieved success. Well, if it causes fear or discomfort, you know what to do.