The impostor syndrome is perhaps one of the most discussed psychological phenomena in recent years. A large “demand” for this topic is associated, among other things, with the development of social networks, where it is customary to share one’s achievements and observe the achievements of others. By what signs can one recognize an “imposter” in oneself, how to deal with him, and is it possible to emerge victorious from this struggle?
This syndrome can be briefly described as a feeling that we do not deserve recognition and success – both existing and possible in the future. Let’s take a closer look at what “bells” signal that the “imposter” has granted.
5 SIGNS OF “IMPOSTER SYNDROME”
“It was just luck”
When a person is praised and celebrated for his achievements, he feels embarrassed, because he is sure that his successes are just an accident or luck, and he is afraid of being “exposed”. It is difficult for him to appropriate his merits.
A person with impostor syndrome often feels they lack knowledge, skills, or experience. It seems that there is still more to learn before moving on to action. But not always with an increase in the number of diplomas and certificates, self-confidence increases.
“I don’t get paid that much”
Shame or fear of taking money for one’s work, raising the price, or asking for a raise is another possible manifestation of impostor syndrome. A person is sure that something is not enough in him to charge more money for his work, and is afraid of not meeting the expectations of a client or employer.
“All of a sudden it won’t work”
People with Imposter Syndrome are afraid of making mistakes and believe that they must perform any task at the highest level, otherwise someone will find out about their alleged incompetence. And so they either make excessive efforts, which can be expressed in workaholism or perfectionism, or they refuse to take any steps – procrastination or inaction.
It would be nice to continue to keep a diary of achievements and save everything, even insignificant positive results, in it. In general, it is very important to shift the focus from failures to what works, and finally start to enjoy small intermediate successes, and not just achieving a big goal.
We accept the support of others
Honest feedback from the environment also helps to cope with doubts and insecurities. If you ask at least a dozen people – relatives, friends, colleagues – to name your strengths, you can see interesting coincidences. And, of course, they are not random. It remains to believe people and begin to appropriate what others have seen for a long time.
Getting “field” experience
And the most effective argument in a dispute with the “imposter” is practice. Actions. Experience. Learning is, of course, good and important when you really lack knowledge. But the fifth theoretical training on the same topic will not cure the impostor syndrome. We must try in practice in order not to fall into a vicious circle: no experience – we do not act, because there is no experience – in the end we never get experience.
The dialogue with the “imposter” should not last long. If you follow the recommendations from the text, you will always have arguments at hand that will allow you to quickly parry and save energy. It must be immediately used for action, then confidence will grow, and the voice of the “imposter” will weaken.
WHAT TO DO WITH IMPOSTER SYNDROME?
Imposter syndrome can manifest itself in a rather innocuous way – for example, in the form of reasonable doubts, which are quite possible to cope with on your own. The problem arises when because of it in real life we do not perform important actions, we give up our goals and desires. In this case, your inner “imposter” needs to be taken seriously.
In combination with the name of this psychological phenomenon, the verbs “to overcome” and “to get rid of” are often used. In practice, however, it often looks like we are negotiating with our “deceiver”. Our goal is to convince ourselves that we are worthy and sufficient.
The syndrome speaks of our success
You can start by saying that the occurrence of the syndrome indicates that we have achievements or the potential to achieve goals. After all, this “imposter” is what keeps us from appropriating it; it is what we devalue. So it is. People who achieve nothing and aspire to nothing are very rarely outperformed. Much more often it appears when we are improving and wanting more. That is, if a “cheater” comes along, we grow!
Convincing the “fraudster” with facts
The ideal is to digitize all of your experiences over your lifetime and compile them into a single folder, table, chart or document. Record all regalia, all training of any duration, speaking engagements, publications, awards received, count experiences in hours, units or other units of measurement, find and save reviews and thank you notes. This process can take a long time, but it’s worth it. One glance at this huge list is enough to make a “cheater” back off.
It would be nice to continue to keep a log of accomplishments and store everything in it, even the insignificant positive results. In general, it’s very important to shift the focus from the failures to what works, and finally start enjoying the small medium successes and not just achieving the big goal.
Accept the support of others
Honest feedback from those around you also helps to cope with doubt and uncertainty. If you ask at least a dozen people – relatives, friends, colleagues – to list your strengths, you may see some interesting coincidences. And, of course, they are not random. What remains is to trust people and start appropriating what others have long seen.
Gaining experience “in the field”.
And the most effective argument in a dispute with a “scammer” is practice. Action. Experience. Learning is, of course, good and important when you really lack knowledge. But a fifth theoretical training on the same topic will not cure impostor syndrome. We have to try in practice not to get into a vicious circle: no experience – we don’t act, because there is no experience – in the end we never get the experience.
The dialogue with the “impostor” should not take long. If you follow the recommendations from the text, you will always have at hand arguments that will allow you to quickly bounce back and save energy. It must be immediately used for action, then confidence will rise and the voice of the “impostor” will weaken.