Don’t worry, having narcissistic personality traits doesn’t mean you’re a bad person at all yet.
Narcissism has been much talked about in the last few years, and as a result, many people find similar qualities in their character and get frustrated.
You bet – narcissists are usually portrayed as selfish, narcissistic, callous, convinced of their own unquestioned superiority and demanding the appropriate attitude from those around them. But the fact is that this description refers to a mental disorder – narcissistic personality disorder – rather than narcissistic personality traits.
So how can we extract useful information about our own personality from the clutter of negative evaluations and meanings that surround narcissism?
It’s not an easy task, but the following five facts can help you not get frustrated and accept yourself for who you are:
1. EVERYONE HAS NARCISSISTIC TRAITS TO ONE DEGREE OR ANOTHER
In its original sense, narcissism is self-love. And loving, respecting, appreciating, praising oneself is not only normal and right, but even absolutely necessary for mental health. The main thing is that this love does not acquire pathological features, does not go beyond the boundary, after which begins a mental disorder.
2. NARCISSIST AND “BAD PERSON” ARE NOT SYNONYMS
Although in pop culture narcissists are attributed, probably, all the negative qualities that can only be imagined, in reality, everything is not so simple and unambiguous, because the human personality is arranged much more complex and irrational than it may seem. Exaggerated self-esteem and self-confidence do not exclude manifestations of kindness, empathy and altruism.
3. THE FACT THAT YOU ARE AWARE OF YOUR IMPERFECTIONS IS ALREADY A SIGN OF THE STRENGTH OF YOUR CHARACTER
It takes great courage to be honest with yourself. Self-knowledge is the starting point for personal growth.
4. BEING A NARCISSIST IS NOT EASY OR EVEN PAINFUL
Narcissistic traits make it difficult to relate to yourself and others. You have too high standards, you are hard on yourself and others’ mistakes and imperfections, you are never “good enough” for yourself, and you expect too much from others, making it difficult to build healthy relationships with them. That’s not an easy thing to bear. So you deserve sympathy too.
5. PSYCHOTHERAPY CAN HELP YOU
If you’re lucky enough to find a therapist who can support and guide you, chances are good that you’ll learn to cope with your excessive narcissistic behaviours and become a more harmonious and happy person.